Grab my backpack, hop off the bus. Walk the two blocks home. Drop my backpack, say hi to family, head up the creaky stairs to my room, slam the door, turn the CD player on high. Commence head banging. Yes. I used to be a teenage headbanger. After school, I'd hide away in my room, blast alt-rock music on high, grab my hairbrush like a microphone and whip my hair back and forth like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes it was Christian rock - DC Talk, Skillet, P.O.D. Other times mainstream artists - Nirvana, Incubus, Garbage, Foo Fighters. And to be honest, sometimes those mainstream songs felt deep, reverent and set apart as if they were speaking a message straight to my teenage emo soul.
"Drive" by Incubus made its debut in 1999. It was like a magnet to me. The passion and spiritual nuances spoke to me. But now as a grown human who has weathered a fair bit of things, I get it and appreciate it even more.
Drive
Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I, can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before and seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, I'll be there
So, if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found
Now before anyone starts spinning on theology, please remember this is not a faith song. I am not saying that God does not drive my life. I am in it to win it with Jesus and have devoted my life to this stream. But for someone who for 30 years let other people in essence drive my decisions (parents, friends, roommates, supervisors), there is a great empowerment found in realizing that I can indeed drive the car I've been given to drive. God has given me this life to live and a mind, heart and soul full of wisdom to prayerfully discern the roads to drive on.
And so, just for kicks, and because this song has meant a lot to me, I present to you a cover of "Drive."